How to get over the fear of solo travel

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Redefining Travel: It’s Not All About Grand Destinations

We often picture vacations as extravagant trips to far-flung destinations, and while this can be a way we travel, we can also experience travel in our own backyard.? Maybe it’s a staycation where you finally disconnect from work and reconnect with yourself. It could be a weekend getaway to a nearby town you’ve never explored. Or perhaps it’s simply carving out some quiet time at home to read a book, practice yoga, or indulge in a relaxing bath.

The key takeaway here is that travel isn’t about the distance or the expense. It’s about creating space for rejuvenation, exploration, and a break from the ordinary. Listen to your body’s needs. Maybe you don’t crave an action-packed itinerary. Consider incorporating rest days into your travel plans, allowing yourself time to simply soak in the atmosphere and recharge.

Overcoming Fear: A Mindset Shift 

Fear is a felt sense in the body, and it can often stem from how we frame a situation in our minds and the stories that we tell ourselves. When it comes to travel, the focus can easily shift towards anxieties about the unknown, concerns about safety, or a fear of being alone.

Here’s how we can reframe our perspective:

• Travel as a Journey, Not a Competition: Instead of aiming to conquer every landmark or tick off every box on a list, approach travel as an opportunity for personal growth. I’ve always said that travel has been one of my greatest teachers. It has allowed me to learn more about myself and the stories and beliefs that I have, as well as it forces us to be conscious. It’s hard to go on autopilot when you’re in a different place trying to navigate through town. We can learn to embrace the unexpected detours and missed connections. These experiences allow us to evolve and grow if we let them. They can teach us a great deal about ourselves and the world around us.

• Gratitude for the Experience: Take a moment to appreciate the privilege of travel. So often, we book a trip, and then we have expectations as to how it is supposed to go. We create in our minds the experience before it even happens. Yet when we can enter an experience without expectation, we allow the experience to unfold, and we are able to look at it from a place of curiosity vs. judgment. This is a skill that can be transferred from travel into every area of your life, including your business.

• Solo Travel: An Opportunity for Self-Discovery: Sometimes, we can give into the fear of traveling alone, and we don’t book the trip and it doesn’t have to be this way. .   Solo travel can be incredibly empowering. It allows you to set your own pace, explore your interests freely, and truly connect with yourself. You might even find yourself striking up conversations with locals or fellow travelers, leading to unexpected friendships and connections. Each time that I travel alone, I reconnect with myself on a deeper level. There is just you and you. You get to see what your preferences are because you don’t have to take anyone else into consideration. You are able to move at your own pace without having to keep up or slow down (depending on your Human Design type). You have time for introspection and stillness in a world that values hustle. 

Making Travel Happen: It’s About Noticing Your Feelings and Doing It Anyway 

Many people, particularly parents, might feel held back by logistical challenges or a sense of guilt about taking time for themselves. I know I felt this way when my daughter was younger. I wouldn’t book trips because I experienced mom guilt. And then I realized mom guilt is a socially made construct, and I thought about what I wanted to model for my child. I wanted her to see that her mom (and eventually she as well) could take a trip for herself and rejuvenate. I wanted to show her that honoring our desires as parents is important too.

Here are some ways to navigate these obstacles:

• Prioritizing Self-Care: Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. When you’re well rested and rejuvenated, you’ll be a better parent, partner, and friend. Explore childcare options if needed, and remember that even a short break can do wonders for your overall well-being. Prioritizing self-care is a practice. One that many of us haven’t been taught. We can start by noticing where we have feelings like shame and guilt that are keeping us from prioritizing self-care. What stories come to the surface when we think about taking a trip? Write those stories down and ask yourself if you want to continue believing them.
• Taking Responsibility for Your Goals: Do you dream of exploring a specific region or experiencing a particular culture? Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity to fall into your lap. Start researching, setting goals, and taking concrete steps towards making your travel dreams a reality. Notice what fears come up when you set the goal. What stories do you notice as you find yourself wanting to travel to a specific place? Those are the stories and beliefs that you get to change and create new stories that support what you are wanting to accomplish. 
• The Power of Vulnerability and Accountability: Sharing your travel aspirations with others can be a powerful tool for support and motivation. Talk to your partner, friends, or family about your goals. You might be surprised by their willingness to help with planning, brainstorming ideas, or even offering to join you on your adventure.

Final Thoughts

Remember, travel doesn’t have to be a monumental undertaking. Start small: book a hotel for a night in your current city, take the day off of work and go do only the things that light you up and are just for you, or plan a weekend getaway. . As you build confidence and overcome initial anxieties and feelings that have been holding you back, you might find yourself drawn towards more adventurous trips. Traveling solo is like building muscle. You don’t go to the gym and immediately start deadlifting 150 pounds. You start with understanding the movement and having proper form. Do something that is a little outside your comfort zone that challenges your nervous system a little bit, but that doesn’t shut it down. Once you have experienced it, you will see (as well as your mind and body) that you didn’t die, and you’re building up evidence that you can travel solo and that it’s fun.

The key takeaway is this: travel is a journey, not a destination. It’s who you are becoming in the process. Travel is about learning more about yourself as well as your likes and dislikes. Embrace the process of exploration, prioritize self-care, and don’t be afraid to seek support from those around you. I always say, start small and start now. Do something that feels a little outside your comfort zone, have fun, and get curious.

As always, from my soul to yours,

Erin Gray