How to overcome the fear of losing money in life and business

My story around money beliefs 

Our beliefs about money often stem from our early experiences and the environment we grew up in. For some of us, family influences play a significant role in shaping our attitudes towards money and business. I grew up in a family where entrepreneurship was common. My dad had been self-employed for most of my life, and my grandfather had started his own water construction company. And even though my dad was self-employed, he had a poverty-conscious mindset, one that I’m sure he picked up from my grandfather (his father), and I took on that mindset as well.

I spent a lot of time with my dad growing up. I listened to what he said about “having to work hard for money,” and I saw him go through a substantial event when I was 10 that shaped how I viewed money. I realize now that his desire was to empower me with money, and he wanted me to understand that our actions do have consequences. Also, from the lens of a 10-year-old little girl whose pre-frontal cortex hadn’t yet been formed, these experiences instilled a deep-seated fear of losing money and created a scarcity mindset for me. I realized early on in life that money was “serious” and that it can “come and go” at any minute. All of these beliefs were infused into my subconscious, and it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I re-programmed them with more empowered beliefs when it comes to money.

Conditioning and Beliefs About Money

How we view money is often conditioned by our upbringing. If we grew up in an environment where money was scarce and the belief is that it is hard to come by, it can create a mindset of lack. This scarcity mindset might lead us to believe that money is hard to earn and even harder to keep. On the other hand, those who grew up in more financially stable environments might have a different relationship with money, seeing it as a tool for creating opportunities and achieving goals. The way to know how we feel about money is how we feel in our bodies. When we think about money and talk about money, do we tense up in our bodies? Or does it feel expansive and curious to us?

It’s interesting to see how these early influences play out in our adult lives. For instance, someone like me who grew up with financial instability might constantly worry about losing money, even when they are financially secure. I recognize now how I was using money as a safety net to cover up my deep-seated fears when it came to money. This fear can manifest in various ways, such as reluctance to invest, oversaving (which was my coping mechanism of choice), or making overly cautious business decisions. Understanding these conditioning factors is the first step toward changing our beliefs about money. I have also seen in clients and myself that we tend to overwork as a way to cope with money stress. We believe that if we just make more and save more, then we will feel safe and secure.

Working through the Fear and Changing Beliefs

Shifting from a scarcity mindset to a sufficiency mindset and then ultimately to an abundance mindset is possible, and getting into the body as well as changing your stories/beliefs when it comes to money can be a powerful tool in this journey. There are multiple ways to change your beliefs. Everyone is different, so please be willing to try different modalities. The first step is awareness, so I always say to start by writing down your beliefs that you have about money as well as your current situation.

You first have to understand how you think and feel about money. If you are someone who has plenty of money in your bank account and every time you look at the account balance, the overarching theme for you is “it’s not enough,” or you feel tenseness in your body when you open your account, this is a telling sign that you might feel lack and scarcity in your body.

Somatic practices like EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), breathwork, rapid resolution therapy, meditation, playing, and talking to a trusted friend or advisor about how you feel are all ways that you can get into the body.

Next, it’s all about seeing that you are in a relationship with money and understanding how you treat it and show up for it. So often, the self-development world wants to move from a scarcity mindset to an abundant one, and from what I’ve noticed with myself and my clients, that might be too far of a jump for our nervous systems. Our window of tolerance, which is basically a thermometer of where we feel comfortable emotionally, can get shut down if we try to do too much too soon. When we are within our “window”, we have access to our pre-frontal cortex and executive function. When we fall outside that “window”, our pre-frontal cortex goes offline, and we are now operating from our emotional brain. This is why it’s so important in the beginning to go slow and test different modalities, as well as focus on sufficiency rather than abundance. Do you have enough money for today? Maybe just opening your bank account and watching how your body responds in the beginning is enough. Trust yourself and your body. Another suggestion is to notice where you feel like you don’t deserve to have financial success and abundance?. For most of us, we might initially think we deserve success and abundance, but when we dive deeper into these questions, we see that we believe we have to work hard for it or that receiving help along the way is not something we believe we can have.

Another helpful practice is to reflect on past financial decisions and their outcomes. Understanding that every decision has wisdom within it if we can slow down, get curious, and find the lessons. When we start to change our mindset from one of failure and success to one of learning and growing, we are able to look at every lesson as an opportunity to grow rather than evidence to beat ourselves up. We can then decide powerfully how we want to be in a relationship with money and our business decisions.

Practical Steps and Strategies

One strategy that can be helpful is to surround ourselves with people who have an emotionally positive relationship with money. There’s a saying that our income might reflect the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who are not only “successful” (in terms of generating wealth) but also have a loving, healthy relationship with money. I’ve met many people that the world would describe as “successful,” and yet they still have a lack of mindset. By engaging with people who have a positive relationship with money, we can start to adopt similar mindsets and behaviors. Learning from their experiences, asking questions, and observing their decision-making processes can provide valuable insights. I always invite my clients to come back to their bodies and their authority (their decision-making process).

Investing in personal development and financial education can also be incredibly beneficial. This might include attending workshops, taking courses, or reading books on money management and investing. The more knowledgeable we become, the more confident we can feel in our financial decisions. Confidence comes when we take action even though we feel fear, and we choose to have our own back regardless. The more steps we take toward our goals even when we feel fear, the less intense the fear feels in our bodies because we are more practiced at feeling fear. I don’t know if the fear ever truly goes away. We’re humans with a brain that wants to protect us. I do know that the more we feel fear, the more we teach ourselves and our bodies that we are OK, and the less fear has a grip on us.

Also, having a clear financial plan can soothe the brain when it wants to go into the future. This doesn’t mean we need to have every detail figured out, but having a general roadmap can provide direction and reduce anxiety. A financial plan might include setting short-term and long-term goals, creating a budget that works for you and what you value, and regularly reviewing your financial situation. By having a plan, we can feel more at ease knowing that we have chosen how we want to spend, have, and invest our money.

My Final Thoughts 

The goal isn’t to eradicate the fear completely; I’m not sure that’s possible. We have a human brain. I believe the goal is to lessen the intensity in our body, which means it starts with changing our beliefs and mindsets, surrounding ourselves with positive influences, and learning from our experiences. It’s a journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Each of us can find our own path by trying different approaches and seeing what resonates.

Start by embracing the possibilities and moving towards a healthier relationship with money. Feel free to try these suggestions and see how they feel for you. Remember, it’s all about finding what works best for your unique situation. The goal is to shift from a place of fear to a place of empowerment, where money becomes a tool for creating the life and business we love.

As always, from my soul to yours,

Erin